pretty dress

why wasn't this dress around when i was young and beautiful and innocent and at a good prom-goin age? back when a single bottle of vodka could do the trick, when i had yet to learn what 'gateway drugs' meant.

out tonight

im gunna wear these heels


with this dress

to see this movie

with this boy

America

i want that dress so bad. wouldn't i look cute running around in it on the fourth of july, barefoot, barely hanging on to consciousness with a beer in one hand and spliff in the other and a sparkler loosely attached somewhere on my body? i think so too. here is a picture of me being patriotic from a couple of years ago as an example of why am a good candidate to wear this dress


just saying.

SL

um.

so i'm not saying that i DO play Sorority Life on facebook, but i'm also not saying that i DON'T.

ok, just to make this easy, i do play Sorority Life. i'm level 109 and it's all i think about besides gettin' some.

every day they introduce featured items of the day. they are usually blatant rip off's of red carpet dresses from last season.

this is today's featured item:



look familiar??

this is honestly the most exciting thing that has happened to me in like 3 months or something.



PS, that is my avatar named Diamond. isn't she chocolate-y and beautiful? just like me.

NET-A-PORTER

okay, so CLEARLY, net-a-porter reads my blog, cause honey, they are shootin gold left and RIGHT today.


RACHEL GILBERT


DIANE VON FURSTENBURG


D&G DOLCE & GABBANA


EMILIO PUCCI


ERDEM


VICTORIA BECKHAM

and the last couple dresses ARE older. i know this. i haven't had time to update. so say it don't spray it, maw fuckaz.

Marchesa

this dress is really classy. it would look good on a girl. this dress would look good on a classy girl. like Anouk Aimee!




or my friend Lucy who looks like Anouk Aimee!

Ashish

here's another GORGEOUS Ashish dress at net-a-porter.






APPROVED.

Ashish

do you know what todayyyy is?!? IT'S NEW SHIPMENT DAY, AT NET-A-PORTER!!!!!!!!




and omg. this IS the most beautiful dress i have ever seen. like, honestly, i'm having trouble breathing right now. and it's NOT just because i threw myself out a window and my have broken a rib and punctured a lung.





if we get any closer to the turquoise one shouldered leopard print dress from Female Trouble, we will actually have THE turquoise one shouldered leopard print dress from female trouble.

Calvin Klein

um whyyy is everything on net-a-porter old and ugly?

this dress would actually look cute on me, but me alone. and i would have to have crimped hair and my figure from early summer 2008.

and clearly yellow is the new kitty cat.

McQueen/Barrymore

well done. brava.

source.

Jil Sander

this is the ULTIMATE fuck you dress. not to be confused with 'fuck me pumps'. this is the kinda dress you wear to a major event with some nice mid heels, messy hair, and cat eyes. the makeup OR the glasses.

the queen of 'fuck you dresses' is Tilda Swinton who is always looking fine. like at the 2008 Oscars. everyone who i knew was like 'WAHT IS SEH WEARIN?!?' all because she wasn't wearing a prom dress and stage makeup. bitch looked good. and she won. because of the dress.

kitty

more kitty cats. meowwwwwww.

CATS

did you know that cats are the new michael jackson? i mean, apparently. cause ever since he died, there have been cats on shirt dress things everywhere. i don't know how the two are related, but i promise you i will get to the bottom of it. but as of now, it seems as though MJ has been reincarnated as wearable felines. weird.

80's Purple
Net-A-Porter

net-a-porter

i LOVE new shipment day at net-a-porter!!!! it is very equivalent to new shipment day at TJ Maxx, except i don't have to be at work at 7 am, nor do i want to shoot myself. this dress is fucking ugly, but i still love it, as long as it is part of the new shipment at net-a-porter.

Moschino

this dress is 222 cuteee. two hundred and twenty two. you could definitely wear this for halloween and dress up as Madeline. like, DEFINITELY. i remember the last time i went trick-or-treating. i was 17 and i went with my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend, who was my very new ex-best friend. you know, i had big ideas. i dressed up as a bag of jelly beans, but most people thought i was a gay overy (is there a cingular form of overies? am i not spelling i right or something? cause there is a red line beneath it) or a party or something. i don't know.



this was me in college tring to re-create my bitchy success. it didn't even get me laid that time around.

Roland Mouret

Buzz, your girlfriend! WOOF!

but in a good way.

Single

BITCHHH.



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