What an angel would wear

i think this is what ANGELS look like.

this is what it is like in heaven.
and i am so glad we are rehearsing on it now.
RACHEL GETTING MARRIED.
BAM!


btdubs i finally changed my fb name to Hayley Getting Married.
i didn't like it so i changed it back.
mainly cause everyone at tjmaxx actually thinks my last name is Barcelona.
and i dun wanna break their hearts.

things i want for valentines day.

crackers

okay. red beans and rice with morningstar grillers delight veggie burgers and garlic dip and a glass of water topped with one hit of a camel 99 full flavored cigarette tastes JUST like those cute little pentagon shaped soup crackers. THE REAL MCCOY. i hadn't had much of an appetite lately cause fucking Nicole Richie had convinced me that eating anything other than straight up boob milk from a lactating hippie mommy would cause me to grow a third arm. but then i realized she used to have a drug problem and her ethnicity is very ambiguous, so she probably doesn't raelly know what she's talkin about. so hello, appetite! Now that i'm living life on the wild side, i think the next on my to do list will be vacation to Chernobyl.

asian

Ko Un: Sunlight

I’m utterly helpless.
I’ll just have to swallow my spit
and adversity, too.
But look!
A distinguished visitor deigns to visit
my tiny, north-facing cell.
Not the chief making his rounds, no.
As evening falls, a ray of sunlight.
A gleam no bigger than a crumpled postage stamp.
I’m crazy about it! Real first love!
I try to get it to settle on the palm of my hand,
to warm the toes of my shyly bared foot.
Then as I kneel and offer it my undevout, lean face,
in a moment that scrap of sunlight slips away.
After the guest has departed through the bars
the room feels several times colder and darker.
This special cell of a military prison
is like a photographer’s darkroom.
Without any sunlight I laughed like a fool.
One day it was a coffin holding a corpse.
One day it was altogether the sea. How wonderful!
A few people survive here.
Being alive is a sea
without a single sail in sight.

— from SONGS FOR TOMORROW (South Korean poet Ko Un, 2009)

//





soooo cuuuuuuuute!

the climb

i'm so fucking stressed out about the fact that Hannah Montana: The Movie is not on netflix instant watch. HOW QUEER IS THAT?! thank god for David Letterman's increasing dementia on this fine tuesday night.

though i battle blind

pretty dress

why wasn't this dress around when i was young and beautiful and innocent and at a good prom-goin age? back when a single bottle of vodka could do the trick, when i had yet to learn what 'gateway drugs' meant.

WHO'S SHE?

i bought a new toothbrush today!!
it's funny, cause i actually know a guy named Toothbrush.
he's white.

i can't quit you babe

ps. when you are playing pool with a random old creepy guy at a bar and he hands you a dollar and says 'go choose some tunes, little girl', DO NOT PLAY THIS SONG. he will get the wrong idea. the main idea being that you listen to led zeppelin. i mean hellllooooooooooo. i'm 21, NOT 24. he will then get an immediate erection and think that you are challenging him to a 'really good' music conversation. nope! not really! but thanks for the dollar!!

PARA BELLUM

god DAMN. all i wanna do right now is get shit faced by myself and listen to james brown/charles bukowski. i know that sounds pretentious, and it is pretentious. but i find comfort in being hammered and listening to other hammered people complaining about hammered things. you know what a really FUCKING good feeling is? being at a bar and picking music at the jukebox and then when the music comes on hearing strangers say 'who chose this song? i love this song!!'. ok sorry i'm being gay right now. i was discussing my drinking problem with my mom earlier and then the opportunity arose to get shitty tonight, but i didn't wanna seem WEAK so i turned it down now i'm really regretting it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2011 WOOOOO! yea! alright!

i had tonsillitis on new year's eve, i dun wanna talk about it.

but i did get a really really GOOD compliment the other day, which i do wanna talk about:

'i like the way you smell. i wish that i could just smell you whenever i masturbate.'

THAT'S LOVELY.